September 27, 2023

Of course, there’s immediate cause for suspicion and heightened skepticism when high-resolution and infrared video footage, focused right on a high-profile conservative firebrand, from a blacked-out theater, emerges almost simultaneously with the scandal.

Here’s a little timeline of events:

Last Sunday, “two patrons” were ejected from a theater performance of Beetlejuice in Denver; by Tuesday, we find out those two patrons were Colorado’s own Representative Lauren Boebert and a “date.” Surveillance footage captured very untoward and belligerent behavior: Boebert was seen vaping, and rubbing her paramour’s nether region as he groped her chest. On Wednesday, we learned the identity of the man, finding out that he’s 46-year-old Quinn Gallagher, a divorced father-of-one, Denver bar owner, and a Democrat. One alleged source told the Daily Mail that if Gallagher’s parents were to find out about the tryst, they “would be horrified because they are definitely blue.”

Now yesterday… we’re told via the New York Post report that not only is Gallagher a Democrat, but according to social media posts his bar has a very pro-gay ethos, going as far as hosting drag shows. From the outlet:

In January, the Hooch Craft Cocktail Bar in Aspen, which is co-owned by Quinn Gallagher, staged ‘a winter Wonderland Burlesque & Drag Show,’ an invitation for the event reveals.

If we use our abductive reasoning skills… if it looks like a political hit, swims like a political hit, and quacks like a political hit, it’s a political hit. Here’s what Liz Crokin has to say about the turn of events on X:

One user in the comments offered some alleged insight into how internal surveillance typically works, especially if the device was a dome camera, stating this:

The theater cameras are programmed to keep moving. They are supposed to scan for someone intending to do harm to the theater goers. This one was pointed at her for several minutes. Either whoever was watching the cameras was getting his rocks off watching or this was deliberately recorded to create a scandal.

Another implied an additional angle, with this assertion:

You’ve left out only the final piece of the puzzle.

The press and the DeSantis Twitter army were alerted to this story before it emerged and were ready with their moralizing talking points the moment that it did.

Inarguably, Boebert’s behavior exhibits serious lapses in judgment, from her choice in dates to the speed and (lack of) boundaries of her intimate relationships, and I think it reflects poorly on her character. It was the right thing that she was ejected from the theater for her actions, especially if children were in the audience.

However, Boebert’s private life doesn’t have anything to do with me (I only care when children are involved), and she’s not the first woman to be less than modest, and she won’t be the last. The tapes that I really care about would show me who brought cocaine into the White House; Stephen Paddock’s movements before the Las Vegas shooting and law enforcement’s after; and what really happened to Jeffrey Epstein. Wouldn’t it be nice if the media were half as efficient at getting those recordings as they are tracking down footage of “two [anonymous] patrons” getting frisky in a dark theater?