December 2, 2023

Once upon a time, when Disney knew what it was doing, it followed its founder’s formula for success. “I do not make films primarily for children,” Walt Disney said. “I make them for the child in all of us, whether we be six or sixty.” Consequently, his product expanded well beyond the bread and butter of Mickey Mouse cartoons and fairy tales into the realm of live-action adventure and comedy, as much for males as females, and made the company deservedly beloved. But his successors need children to indoctrinate, not only because they’re more brainwashable than adults, but because the producers lack the creative talent to just entertain them the way Walt did.

And the forthcoming girl-power screed, The Marvels, is expected to be the franchise’s biggest bomb ever, with a projected disastrous opening of $45 million.

They got away with it for a while. The trusted Disney brand that Walt built gave them cover to produce woke junk which could superficially pass for entertainment. Until they showed themselves to be more delusional than their intended audience. Walt knew young men wanted to go 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea, survive on an island like The Swiss Family Robinson, fight bears, Indians, and villains like Davy Crockett, King of the Wild Frontier, and swashbuckle like Zorro. They didn’t mind girl-centric fairy tales because they were the heroes in them as well. Even the princesses — Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, Cinderella, and others — realized they needed rescuing along with their romance. That’s what makes the stories timeless universal favorites. And that is precisely what the current Disney hacks tried to reject and change. (READ MORE from Lou Aguilar: Andrew Klavan’s House of Horror)

By repelling male sensibilities and transposing them to fake women (see Brave, Mulan) or non-binary characters (Elemental), they not only betray Walt’s vision, they misconstrue the concept of Disney fantasy to their own demise. Then they extended their self-destructive agenda to the male-friendly properties they inherited, mainly Star Wars and Marvel Comics. Everything they touch turns to unwanted racial, gay, and feminist crap. Some of them might have survived box-office failure after failure. As I’ve written here, it takes a long time to find the malfunction in a giant vessel like Disney. But what they couldn’t and can’t survive is mockery. It’s one genie not even Aladdin can put back in the magic lamp.

More viewers have enjoyed the new South Park episode lampooning Disney’s penchant for race-swapping, feminization, and sexual reorientation than any actual Disney product in the last 10 years. The show takes direct shots at one-woman franchise terminatress Kathleen Kennedy, who turned the male-friendly gold mine of Star Wars into a bottomless feminist shaft, and took Indiana Jones down with it in the recent flop Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny.

In the cartoon, Cartman wakes up from a nightmare he describes to his mother.

Mom! I had a dream that I was replaced by a diverse woman! … Only this time, it wasn’t just me! They were taking all my favorite people and replacing them with diverse women complaining about the patriarchy! Will you check under the bed and make sure they’re no Disney executives under there?! … I’m scared, mom! Will you please just look and make sure Kathleen Kennedy isn’t under my bed!

As zany as the episode gets, Cartman is a realer male character than all recent Disney female or beta male ones.

Another once lucrative — and enjoyable — Disney property, Disney Marvel, has been plagued by the woke disease to the point of ridicule. The cadre of iconic male superheroes that formed the Marvel Comics universe — Thor, Iron Man, Captain America, and the Incredible Hulk — were also replaced by female superheroines to a company-killing degree. The last installment in the Thor series, Thor: Love and Thuunder, in which Thor’s newly independent girlfriend, Jane Foster (Natalie Portman), muscularly takes over for the god was laughed off the big screen. The same went for She Hulk: Attorney at Law on the small screen. See my autopsy of it here.  And the forthcoming girl-power screed, The Marvels, is expected to be the franchise’s biggest bomb ever, with a projected disastrous opening of $45 million. (RELATED: Beauty Is Truth Against Woke Fantasy)

But Disney Marvel had one more wrecking ball in its shed, the reboot of Blade, starring Mahershala Ali. The film was supposed to come out this year. But because pictures are developed some two years before release, they fail to capture sudden turns in the zeitgeist. So the team behind Blade couldn’t see the anti-woke cultural tsunami just now hitting the movie industry, both on and off the screen. Even Hollywoke house organ, Variety, diplomatically cited the DIE (Diversity, Inclusion, Equity) problem with the Blade script.

“One person familiar with the script permutations says the story at one point morphed into a narrative led by women and filled with life lessons (translation: men and the Patriarchy suck). Blade was relegated to the fourth lead, a bizarre idea considering the studio had two-time Oscar winner Ali on board.”

The script is again being rewritten to be more traditionally recognizable. In fact, a lot of the writers hired under the post George Floyd DIE Hollywoke frenzy are being fired. And Disney Marvel has put out the call to original Avengers cast members Robert Downey — Iron Man and Scarlett Johansson — Black Widow, “Avengers assemble!,” and save the company.

Walt Disney and his early heirs also loved and produced comedies, besides the antics of Donald Duck and Winnie the Pooh. Their live-action features like The Absent-Minded Professor, Son of Flubber, The Shaggy Dog, That Darn Cat, The Love Bug, and The Computer Wore Tennis Shoes weren’t particularly funny but were likable and successful. In my opinion, though, nothing would have been more hilarious than Disney’s planned release of Snow White this March. (READ MORE: Oppenheimer and the Radioactivity of Hollywood)

I was so ready for a diverse woman Snow White starlet (Rachel Zegler) who loathed the classic fairy tale, seven weird diverse non-dwarves, and an ineffectual, excisable, unromantic Prince Charming. But more than anything, I couldn’t wait for the beauteous Gal Gadot as the Evil Queen to stand in front of the magic mirror and say, “Mirror, Mirror on the wall, who’s the fairest one of all?,” and have the Mirror answer, “Snow White,” with the image of the decidedly less beauteous Zegler.

Unfortunately, Disney chickened out just like Marvel did. The film won’t come out till 2025, and with CGI dwarves instead of seven minority “magical beings.” That darn Disney.

Looking for an endearing holiday gift book? Try my romantic Christmas ghost story, The Christmas Spirit, available at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and other fine bookstores.